| Saturday, May 27, 2006 |
| Will you be able to sleep? |
Have you ever had moments in your life that you wish you could forget? I have been told by many people that I should keep a journal of the events that take place here. I have come to realize that there are many occasions that I wish could be removed from my memory, but unfortunately they are branded in my brain forever.
I must request forgiveness for the story that I am about to write. In no way am I trying to promote despair. There is no way that I will be able to express the intensity of my feelings or thoughts. So, please forgive me for the weakness this entry may carry.
For the readers that don't know me personally, I feel that I must entitle you to a little personal information about me. There are many things in my life that just make me extremely happy. My wife and children are most important on that list, but I also enjoy other people's children. I enjoy watching children play. I believe a child's laugh is the sweetest sound on earth. I wish there was a way to bottle up a child's laugh, and when we (as adults) are troubled, simply release the joyfulness it brings. On the other hand, a child's cry is very distressing to me.
Without going into detail about a horrible tragedy, this morning we had a six year old child die from a gun shot wound to the back. This is wrong on so many levels. Children are not collateral damage - they are innocent bystanders.
Allow me to paint a picture for you. I don't know the story behind this calamity; I can only envision the situation. The incident occurred about 2:30 in the morning. I can only assume that this little girl was sleeping soundly in her bed. Her piercing green eyes resting, as she dreamed about playing with her friends and eating candy. Her beautiful, long, black hair placed in a pony tail to keep it from touching her soft, innocent face.
Without warning, a shot is fired and enters her body as she lies in her bed. The little girl is ripped from her sleep with excruciating pain that only too many adults here can understand. I can't even imagine the thoughts that must have been running through her head as she tried to comprehend what was going on.
As I watched this little girl die right before my eyes I could only say, "This is such a senseless death," because when the sun raises in the morning there will not be one change in the outcome of this war. There won't be one politician or military leader from either side of the fence that will stand before this little girl's mother and attempt to justify the loss of her child.
I often question "Why?" Why should such a precious, innocent child pay the ultimate price? Why should children die for the sins of their father's? There are so many things in this life that I don't understand. I can only hope and pray that at the end of the day that we will be able to sleep with the decisions that have been made. |
posted by Capt. C @ 4:54 AM  |
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| Friday, May 19, 2006 |
| Step of Faith |
I was looking through some pictures and I came across this one. It reminded me of a story that I would like to share with you.
We had just bought a new house in San Antonio. These birds chose our front porch to build their home, which made me very excited. Anybody that knows me, knows that I love animals. I watched these birds build their home out of mud and straw. Periodically, I would climb up the support beam and look into their nest. One day, I looked up there and saw four eggs lying there. I was so excited that we were going to have babies. A few days later when I looked up there, I saw another egg, making a total of five. Of course, my thought was "How are they going fit all of their babies in that nest?"
Once the babies hatched from their eggs, I continued to watch them mature. After a few weeks, it was now time to take flight. I stood there looking through the window of the front door watching this miracle of nature take place. The Mother bird flew to the front porch light and started chirping really loud. It was as if she was saying, "Come on! You can do it! I know you can! Just do it!" The Daddy bird was perched on the ledge a few feet away. After a couple of minutes, the first little bird was on the edge of the nest appearing to want to take that first step, but was just too afraid. So, the Mother bird intensified her cheering for her little baby.
After a few minutes, the Daddy bird flew over to the nest and nestled himself beside the baby that was getting ready to take flight. The Daddy bird then started chirping with the Mother in harmony. The baby appeared to be gaining more courage, but not enough to take that first step. With extreme love and compassion the Daddy bird worked himself behind the baby and gently nudged the baby out of the nest while the Mommy started chirping a different tone. It was if the Mother bird was saying, "Over here baby, you can do it! Come here." The baby was now out of the nest and was destine to take flight or fall to his death. Out of desperation, the baby spread his delicate wings and very spastically flew the five or six feet to the porch light by his Mother. I could see that the baby was breathing extremely fast from the fear of taking his first flight. The Mother and Daddy bird then changed their song again as if they were saying, "Way to go! We knew that you could do it!"
This event happened three more times. Each bird learning that they could take flight just like their sibling. Now, there was a fifth baby there that was a little slow in hatching. I was wondering how they could tell the babies apart since they all looked exactly alike, but the parents knew which one was a little delayed. After the fourth bird left the nest, the fifth bird (the slow one) stepped up to the edge. At that moment the Mommy bird flew to the nest and started chirping this very sweet sound. It was like she was saying, "Not yet! Your time to blossom will happen soon, but not right now." So, the baby bird stepped back into the nest.
There are times in our life when we need to sit back and wait. Then there are times that we need to take that step of faith. Even though the flight may be sporadic, we learn that we can fly. |
| posted by Capt. C @ 3:46 AM |
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| Monday, May 15, 2006 |
| Makes you think! |
Sometimes there are just no words...........................
Just one more night together.................................
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| posted by Capt. C @ 10:35 AM |
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| Sunday, May 14, 2006 |
| Psalm 19:14 |
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.
Fellow bloggers,
This blog was created for and intented to be a source of communication for Captain C and all who love and support him. A place where we the readers can get a glimpse into the life of a soldier and experience the struggles they face every day. We also have the privilage to share in the thoughts and concerns of captain C, who is becoming a very good writer in the process.
This blog is not a soapbox for anyone to start calling names & being disrespectful. There is a reasonable and courteous way of sharing your own thoughts - views - political opinions. I will not tolerate dogmatic language and outright condemnation of anyone. This is war and opinions are strong, but this is not the place for harse accusations and disrespectful language. If you have the urge or need to start calling names and laying the 'apocalypse' on someone's lap do it on your own blog. If your only intent is to pic a fight...just contact me and we can go at it till we're blue in the face, but keep it clean on my bro's blog.
We can respectfully disagree, but when your speech becomes dogmatic I will remove your comment. Let's all remember that we all have different opinions on the war, but we must be as one voice when supporting our troops.
Thank you for your courtesy. |
| posted by G. @ 5:13 PM |
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| Tuesday, May 09, 2006 |
| Stuck in my mind |
For this entry, I want everybody to understand that I am in no way demeaning the life that was given for this cause. I have the highest respect and honor for my fellow Soldier. I want to share with you some of the responsibility that we are faced with every day.
Have you ever been in a car accident and the only thing that you remember is the expression on somebody's face? Or have you had some near death experience and the one thing that stuck out most in your mind was probably the least important? Well, I want to share one of my experiences with you.
I remember back in the States when a recently deployed Soldier was trying to explain the types of trauma and care that I would be administering. Even as a CRNA, I was unable to comprehend the magnitude of the situation. So, if you have not experienced this type of care, there is no way that you will be able to appreciate the work that is given to save a life. So, please bear with me.
The other day I was treating a trauma, and unfortunately, it was an American Soldier. The story goes that this Soldier, along with his team, was driving down a road when an IED took out their vehicle. This Soldier had extensive injuries to include the following: internal abdominal bleeding, internal chest bleeding, extensive lacerations on three extremities, head laceration, and burns over 80% of his body.
The surgeon came running up the stairs and said, "I have to bring him right now! His abdomen is getting bigger as we speak." Usually, we have a few minutes to get everything set up, but I could tell that my little ways of doing things would have to be done some other time. So, as I was running to the OR I said, "Bring him on!"
Within minutes this Soldier was lying on the operating table and time was ticking away. The Soldier already had a tube in his lungs to help him breathe. However, we quickly secured an arterial line and central line. I called out for blood. I told them to bring me all the blood products that they had on this Soldier. Within seconds we had coolers full of packed red blood cells, fresh frozen plasma, platelets, factor VII, etc.
As fast as we could get the blood products into this Soldier, the faster the Soldier bled out. Without going into detail (out of respect), I will tell you what stuck out in my mind. I looked under the bed to check the Foley catheter that had been placed. When I went to empty it, I reached for a bottle that was lying there on the floor. I noticed something really different that caused me to stop and do a little tilt of the head. Then it hit me - the bottle was floating away from me. I reached out again and the bottle moved further from me. Then I realized that the bottle was floating in blood.
There is so much more to this story, but the internet is not the place to share it. However, I do want to say that this Soldier flew to Germany about 36 hours later. The last I heard he was still alive and improving (much to everyone's amazement)...............This morning I received the sad news that this Soldier did not make it. My heart and prayers will go out to his family and friends. |
| posted by Capt. C @ 9:27 AM |
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| Wednesday, May 03, 2006 |
| What if there's no tomorrow? |
Time has a magical way of healing the hurt, the pain, and the suffering. Time gives us a gift that allows people to forgive all that has happened. For an example, August 6th, 1945 the United States of America dropped the first atomic bomb on Japan killing over 70,000 people. If that wasn't bad enough, August 9th, 1945 the US dropped the second atomic bomb on Japan killing another 40,000 people. Today, Japan is our ally.
Now, we are fighting a war that is different from any other war that we have ever fought. There is no country or government - just people. Whether you agree or disagree with this war is irrelevant. Regrettably, we are not able to change or decide what should or should not happen. I think we have learned many things from this war. Something that we all should learn is that hind-site is not wisdom.
I believe for the first time in our life we have defiled the law of history. The law that states, "History will repeat itself." I do not believe that United States and Islamic extremist will ever be allies. So, what does this mean? We have no guidelines or experience in this kind of war. We can all hypothesize at what the future may hold. Unfortunately, no matter how smart you think you are, it will be purely speculation.
So, maybe we should rethink the prices that are being paid. Maybe in today civilization, the way that we used to do things is not the way that we should do things. Maybe we should view life as it is - a gift not to be taken for granted.
I have often wondered how the world would respond if we were informed that there will be no tomorrow. There would be no more sunsets or walking on the beach. There would be no more picnics or catching fire flies. There would be no more dreams and no more stories. There would be no more jumping on the bed or having paper parties.
Would the fighting stop so that we can reevaluate what is important? Or would the fighting intensify to promote the cause? I wonder if given this news that the true things that mattered in life would over ride all of those that are not.
I believe that we have no guarantee of tomorrow. Therefore, we should work like we are going to live forever and live like there is no tomorrow. |
| posted by Capt. C @ 9:35 AM |
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